Heading to the fifth floor of our building is the first thing I do when I get to work at night. It has already been a nightly routine but it means something more to me than just breathing cool air and resting after a one hour trip from home. It is the only time of my work day that I can be alone to think things over like the life I am leading, my plans and those things I am holding on to, which keep me from quitting the monotonous drag of my night life.
Sometimes, I would smoke a cigarette or two and watch the smoke rise in the air. While doing this, I’d have my Coldplay, Keane and Snow Patrol playing in the background to break the silence, or to mask the senseless noise of other people nearby.
I would just sit there, still an hour before my shift, but not really waiting for anyone or anything. For barely an hour, I’d just think because it’s the only thing I can do when I’m alone. I think of my family. I think of my best friend. I think of me. And I’d get lonely because I’d realize how meaningless my life has become.
What am I doing here?
I would always ask my self that question, and the night never fails to give me an answer.
You are needed where you are.