Losing But Not Completely Lost

My holidays will surely be uneventful. Not that I really care but I just can’t feel anything towards the upcoming Christmas Day. While most of the people and bloggers I know are already making their own grand plans to spend the holidays, here I am still wondering what to do with my idle time and where to go next because I haven’t found myself a job yet.

But despite all the things that happened, I can still say that the year 2010 has been good to me. It was I who failed to do what I needed to do. Thus, my plans all disappeared, leaving only memories of better days. That is why I am really thankful that I still got this blog to keep me sane, my readers to lighten me up, and my best friend—my companion, my lover, my reason for still believing that I am not hopeless.

I don’t know what the coming year will bring to me. All I know is that I am going to fix myself first, so that I will have a clearer picture of what’s ahead of me, the things I really want to achieve, and to be sure of every action that I will do. Having reached 21  really scares me. I am not getting any younger so I think I should take things more seriously.

One of the things I will do is to speak less and spend more time writing. I want to study again next year after saving up. And the best time to practice is now while I still have the drive. I will also be firmer with my opinions and what I think is right. Being too good to other people, based on my experience, is not really a good idea. I have always been having petty arguments with my Bestfriend because of his brutal frankness with me and with other people, especially when he’s in the right position. And I guess he’s just right. Life is unfair. Be fierce or you’ll be the prey of other people.

I learned a lot of lessons this year. That is why even if I can’t consider Christmas Holiday a big deal, I still feel excited about the coming year of 2011. From this point, I still have eight days to wait until New Year. Eight days to hold on before I finally leave my failures behind because everything is going to be alright.

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32 thoughts on “Losing But Not Completely Lost

  1. Don’t worry, you’re the only one who’s apparently not enjoying the holiday season. Cheer up cos the new year’s gonna be a fresh start for every one. 🙂
    Happy Christmas! 🙂

  2. Christmas will be uneventful for a lot of people too. At least, mine would be too.

    Anyways, I hope you find a new job real soon. I was a bum for about two months last year and it bore the hell out of me, so I know how you feel. At least you’ll have more time to write though.

    Merry Christmas, Jem. 😀

  3. Hey cheer up 🙂 rest assured, I also got freaked out after I graduated. I dreaded the job interviews and I went through the funny (well it wasn’t funny back then) phase of, “why do I need to keep on saying who i am. this resume doesn’t define who i am as a whole person?”

    Hahaha. Better things await. 🙂

    And I agree, sometimes, you need to be firmer. Although being nice also pays off, but there’s a need for a certain level of sungit too

  4. Awch. Naramdaman ko halos lahat ng nabanggit mo mula sa pers paragraph. Sheesh. Sana’y maging maganda ang hatid ng bagong taon sa’yo, at sa’ting lahat. 😀

  5. hey man, di ka nagiisa. ako rin hindi masyadong excited sa pasko. sa new year ako excited. kasi bumili ako ng mga paputok. lol.

  6. You have a very good perspective in life. Christmas sometimes is not celebrated well because the mere fact is we dont kn0w how. S0metimes we base on our feelings, condition and situati0ns in life in celebrating Christmas and i believe that the reas0n why there is Christmas because of our hurts, struggles and pains in life. The reas0n why Jesus came. On the other hand, i salute y0ur firmness in y0ur decisi0n to do s0mething better. Have a hapi new year! Ü

  7. hey cheer up. things will get better. god doesn’t just show off, there is always a reason why things happen and you just wait and things will be great again. happy new year!

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