Self Destruct

I am going to be jobless this Christmas. I have been absent from work for five days now and I do not have any plans of going back. And the fact that it doesn’t hurt a bit is just a confirmation that I did the right thing—even if it was stupid and wrong.

The idea occurred to me so suddenly. I was already walking along the Orchard Road of Eastwood City, puffing a cigarette and enjoying the bright lights and sounds of the night, when I came to a halt and thought about ending it all.

I really loved my job, though. I had a great pay. I liked what I was doing. Only I wasn’t in the right team. I was too tired of trying to get along with our team captain whose words always wound. I know that I should have just done my job without giving her a damn but her mere presence is tormenting, making the weight of my shift difficult to bear.

Sometimes, I was thinking if there’s anything wrong with what I was doing, because that was how she always made me feel, whenever we had a coaching or confrontation. In fact, I tried really hard to please her to the point of getting myself a Service Award,which in the end she just ignored. Since then, I gave up. I let everything accumulate to make my self-termination easier, leaving me no reason to look back. And I got what I want.

I know that I’ve done well with my job and it really pains me to think that I will be wasting five months I have spent with the company. However, I didn’t have a choice. Tomorrow will be the first day of my job hunt. And part of not looking back is not to include my recent company with my resume. I don’t need their name on my work history. I believe that all I will need to find another job is just myself, because I do my homework and I know what I’m doing. And that entitles me for some respect.



19 thoughts on “Self Destruct

  1. It can really be frustrating if your boss doesn’t know how to appreciate you. Truly, your former boss is not a good leader. But it such a pity though that you were greatly affected by her. Well, I can’t blame you. In the future, you might encounter a boss like her. Are you going to give up again? I guess you need to learn to ignore such people like her in order to survive in this cruel world. (Naks) It is such a waste when you love your job and lost it just because of one person. I just hope you will find a boss that will appreciate you.

    Happy Holidays, Jem! Good luck on you job hunting. 😉

    • I just wanted to end the agony, Ms. Reesie, knowing that it won’t do me any good if I stayed. I could have resigned properly but I didn’t want any confrontation with her. So I think I did the right thing. I feel lighter now. Now, I just have to face the consequences of my actions and make sure that I will find myself a job before 2011. Thanks for commenting. It helped. :]

  2. Thanks for the concern. I’m okay now. I hope you’re okay too.

    I don’t know if I should be sorry for you about what had just happened, but I guess it’s all for the best; and judging by the underlying reasons, you actually did yourself a favor.

    I applaud you for having the courage to let go of everything. Good riddance to her who made this happen. But in the end, I believe you still came out of this as a winner, because under circumstances like these, there’s no better thing to do than self-redemption. And there you go, you just saved yourself.

    Good luck with the job hunt! I hope you get to find one before Christmas. Hehe. 😀

    • Thank you for that message, Raymond. You and Ms. Reesie just made my day. I am really happy to know that I don’t have just a blog, but blog friends as well. Your messages lighten things up. I just wish that my job hunt will be ok. I will keep you guys posted. Thanks again.

  3. Good luck with the job hunt!

    I’m gonna say I totally support your decision. One of my mottos in life is ‘Happiness first, money later’. This is in terms of a career ha. =))

  4. may angas factor ah hehe…goodluck sa job hunting 🙂

    may mga ganung tao lang talaga, di mo naman inaano eh parang ang laki ng problema sayo, ay who cares carebears!!! hehe

    • oo nga eh..di talaga maiiwasan makaapak ng mga ganong tae..marami sila dito sa mundo..pero naisip ko dapat mas maging fierce ako ngayon..di pwede na puro bait, para una pa lang alam na nila na di ako pwede banggain.

  5. oh man, it seems such a waste to let go of a job that you love too much, especially when it’s done during the upcoming holidays. then again, i couldn’t blame you for doing so what with a superior who’s a perfect doppelganger of a devil that wears prada.

    i don’t think i need to be sorry though. you seem to be a smart person with conviction. you know what you want and you know how to get it. all the best with your job-hunting, jerro! \m/

    • i, too, am not sorry. i did just the right thing. and i’m a Christmas Scrooge so it seems like the Holidays won’t make any difference. kaunting tipid na lang siguro para magkasya pa pera ko.

  6. Better things await 😀 ayaw mo yun, new job sa 2011?

    Mahirap nga pag bad vibes ang bosses. Minsan kasi mas malaking factor yung people you work with than the pay 🙂

  7. Pingback: The First Detour | COSMIC GLITCH

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